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lol nicejoke

DAN probably didn't like it because it was meaningless. you tried to make it cool, but it wasn't because you didn't show any emotion of the main character, and if there is no reason behind why he is killing everyone, then it isn't real and it sucks. you should of shown the intense hate or a really visceral emotion. that would of made it so it wasn't a flake

kehny responds:

I see your point. Thanks for the review.
You haven't played the game, have you?
I'm not gonna brag about what I do, but I'd rather convey such things in acting and animation instead of showing an angry face of a character who is supposed to be expressionless, you know, the cold killer he was described as. Plus, the short is a joke, chill.
Cool and vicsceral emotions don't really mix.

this is so bad, it's funny, fo realz dog

Typo in the first 6 minutes.

It could of been more emotional and intense if you close up on the character's face, show more emotion in the chase and in the characters voices or scenery.

The chase scene could of been more intense if you had shaky cam on the boy running too

10:46 scene was good

Put the camera more into the eyes of the characters, in their emotions like you did in the 10:46-11:14 scene, that was good, and the emotion in the boy's voice as he is running is good, most of the movie up until now did not have very emotional voices, that's bad.

12:05 was good, you moved the camera with the character as he falls, and made everything blurry, you give a sense of how the character was feeling.

12:53 shots where you do a far away shot then close up is good,

The shots at the beginning of the movie are always far away and don't change to give a change in perspective and a sense of the emotions that are going on in the film, that made the film more boring and detached of emotion, you want to be able to feel the emotions and intensity of the movie.

13:20 was good how you closed up on the girl and boy and made the girl smile, and how the knife dropped, that made me feel something, if you can change the faces of the characters to show emotion like in that scene, that would be excellent. But the story is very hard to understand and you don't give many clues to help understand what is going on, I didn't understand the relationship between the beast and the boy. You could of done a lot better with making the story more clear. Make the eyes and mouths of the characters change to show emotion.

The face of the beast never changes, and that leaves out the emotion in the story, which makes it hard to connect to the characters and the movie.

14:04 was good voice acting, good emotion. But why did you put a made up language and not a real language, it would be easier to put emotion into your words if you knew what those words meant, it doesn't matter the language, but what matters is the emotion you put in their voices as they are speaking.

14:24-15:00 had good emotional voices

15:25 had a good close up and shaky cam, but you waited too long on the boy, you should of cut the picture to the beast and the girl halfway to show that they weren't answering. Because if you don't give a hint, the audience won't know what's going on.

The beast has a really poor animation, static motion and his emotionless face bring this movie back, if you could make his face move more, or put emotion into his face or make his movements more dynamic or realistic, that would add to the intensity of his character that you could of had.

15:52-16:00 was good, good panning to show what he was looking at.

16:14 you have to pick something to focus on in the scene, or you can swap focus between all the characters, cutting from one character to the next, to the scenery as a whole

17:00-18:00 could of had more close ups with emotional faces,

The dying scene was pretty good, but you could of made it better still with better facial animations.

The 18:30 scene was good, it had emotion and good close ups.

19:02, the girls voice was very very good, if you had that kind of emotion throughout the film, this film would be very great.

20:25 was great when she nudged the boy, that is good dynamic animations and shows the emotions very clearly.

20:55 the nightmare was very weak, it was too short and didn't have any suspense or dread or emotions, it was not intense. It could of been 10 seconds longer with a slow build up, with a close up on his terrified face at the end.

20:17 when she was touching the arrow, you could of had him flinch a bit in pain as she was touching the arrow.

20:35 the dragging could of been more intense and realistic and there should of been a transition from the dragging to where he shrugs off the girl and tells her to leave him, maybe a agitated yell or scream or, maybe while he is being dragged, he could scream in pain.

22:05 was pretty good.

24:00 good story progression, but always include more emotional faces

24:25 was a good shot

25:04 was a good scene where the girl tries the spear. But the overal animation is too rigid it's not as dynamic and quick and reflexive as real people, you got to make them hesitate and fumble a bit, or just make them more lifelike. Put some life into the animations.

26:04 was a good background shot, but the beast's animation and character model are very poor.

26:40, when they say they need the snake venom to kill the beast, you should of implied how strong the beast was earlier in the story so we know how strong he actually is.

27:25 the girl's eyes are very blank, you could change them to show some type of emotion. Overall all the character's faces are blank, emotionless

28:10 was good, the beast made noises, good addition. Puts some life into the beasts character, you could of always put sounds like that throughout the movie

28:30 you should of made the breathing animation for the beast match the rhythm of the sounds the beast is making. The animations don't match the sounds.

29:25 the voices are alright but the made up words makes it hard to emphasize some words, when they are taking, it is usually the same emphasis throughout instead of putting emphasis some some important words. Try writing the script first and deciding which words to emphasize than translate to gibberish and emphasize those same words.

30:20 animation was good, of the killing sheep, and the dying. That animation should be throughout the film, it was realistic and intense.

32:05 could of been more intense and emotional if you put some emotions into their faces and changed their faces to show some feeling.

33:13 was good was she was breathing and looking at the enemy, that had suspense.

33:36 when he is dragging the animals, they should already be dead, and not breathing. You should show a shot where he slits the animals neck.

You could of set the tone better in the movie, with more emotion.

35:06 death okay, it matches the bad animation, and it's more like a video game death than a movie death.

35:48 you should have some character development which says the characters are in love. He says, "my love" and that came out of nowhere.

36:05 kick was veeery nice. That's dynamic animation, good job.

36:35 again, that she is pregnant came out of nowhere. Also, does it add to the story in any way? Especially if you didn't develop the story to include the love side to it?

37:00 was good, that's pretty nice, good job.

37:40 was cheap, we have to understand the emotion behind the song for us to get the song. You should of had an emotional scene before where she plays the song with a lot of emotion and intensity. Since there wasn't a emotional scene like that, the ending song is meaningless.

Overall the story should of been more clear, with many many clues telling the mood of the scene and the relationship between the characters, both which are missing.

The animation could of been more emotional with facial expressions.

mohdfikree responds:

Hi! Thank you so much for the honest feedback, which I really do need. No worries, you're not the only one who had the same thoughts on the animated film while watching, I've received similar feedback during the film festivals, and I strongly agree with you and others. In my previous journals, I've said that this one is the film festival built while the enhanced version will later replace this submission whenever it's ready (see some samples of the enhanced version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aykVjW02vd0).

My upcoming animated film for this year's film festival will have improved animation of mine based on the feedback I got for GIRL & IT. Regarding the use of fictional language, the reason is because any real-life language (mainly English, Arabic, or others) would not fit into this fictional universe, so I decided to create new and appropriate language for it, spent around 5-6 months on dictionaries and a one month session with the voice actors on the fictional language.

As for the animation itself, it is pretty outdated, yes, but I did started the production since 2011 and ended on 2013. The new animation style of mine is much different than this one, something similar to PS3's Heavenly Sword's short animated series included with the game. Facial expressions is by far the worse one, especially the girl's, haha. I will do my best to improve facial expressions in my future animations.

Anyway, just wanted to say thank you and I hope my future animations will be much more improved than this one.

Pico is more hardcore than that. Yea, but it was good

oxbow lakes are formed when their rivers meander
is to wibbly wibbly wobbly to maintain the course it's on
the main flow of the stream diverts it's self
accordingly, leaving the oxbow lake behind
but here's my question son
what the hell's an oxbow?
are our bovine friends fashioning weaponry?
somone should tell me
do i need to buy a shield?
ox's just aint knowing for their dexterous ability
you need to watch around them or you might lose an eye

My favorite part is when she said poo is ace and in the end when she's saying You're my daddy you're my daddy you're my daddy while falling alseep, those parts were the best.

I really really liked it. Especially when I read what the comic book was about. It's kinda boring if you don't know anything about it. It's not for young impatient people. It's more of a movie kind of opening, but it's good, I liked it.

Jester076 responds:

Thank you very much. This project is still "In the works". Delays of every kind have plagued production...from financing to staffing. I truly appreciate your feedback.

That girl when she said omg. You should of looped that a bit longer, that part was funny. Maybe a loop in a kinda echo voice.

jabzinaut responds:

Thanks for the feedback, yeah I actually had a couple ideas for that part too but thought I'd move on to the next scene quickly to keep with the flow!

No one likes anime, it's so boring.

I've been on newgrounds since 2005
And I consider myself hysterical

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